The Eton Wall Game
A complex thing, this Wall Game: more ‘touch’ than Eton Fives.
It stretches your dexterity and scrummages your lives!
Spectators shouting ‘Oppidan’ all sit up on the wall
I “Humpty Dumpty!” back at them before I take a fall!
Those orangemen and purple ranged against Collanger white
Have lots of gharish, coloured socks but still they’re not that bright!
Us Scholars have the way of it; they learn but wonder why
when shoving in a bullish way, we’ve raised our legs and scored a ‘shy’!
To move the ball a few feet more would be a hard won gain.
Just scrape your arm against the wall and you can feel the pain.
But watch your manners, this is sport not thuggery or boxing
No hitting, biting, kicking-in, just pushing and out-foxing!
We pass the ball, and kick it and convert it at our tree
To score a nifty few more points and prove our mastery!